English Grammar Funny Quotes - You Can't Help Laughing

Let us first look at the following quotes:

“Ship by truck & cargo by ship” (how can a ship go on a truck?!)

“Noses run & feet smell” (how can nose run instead of smell?!)

“When a house burns up, it burns down” (how does it burn down?!)

The English language is a mystery to all of us, whether you've been speaking it since day one, or you've just started to learn it. From its bizarre spelling rules to its free-for-all grammar, it's a daily struggle just trying to form sentences that make sense. No wonder people are turning to emojis to express their thoughts, rather than coping with some weird English words.

Any non-native speakers learning English as a second language soon discover, that English is a funny language! Not only has its vocabulary derived from several European language families, but some numerous paradoxes and inconsistencies are a real test of anyone’s linguistic ability.

So, without further ado, let us discuss some common sayings and quotes that speak of English being a funny language.

1. Ship by truck & send cargo by ship

Here, the word ‘ship is used to denote the process of sending something from one place to other, whereas the second ship is used to denote a vehicle.

2. Have noses that run & feet that smell

In English, you can say that a nose runs. It means when you have a cold you need tissues to wipe your nose. "My nose is running." you can say that someone's feet "smell", which means that person's feet stink.

3. How can the weather be hot as hell one day, and cold as hell another.

Truly confusing, right? So, here we see that both hot and cold have been used to describe the extremity rather than the sensation of warm or cool.

4. When a house burns up, it burns down

Many verb phrases exist in English. They can't always be explained with logic. Languages don't get planned by committee; they just happen over time.

But this pair actually makes sense. To "burn up" means to be completely consumed by fire. This makes sense because the residue of this kind of fire drifts off with the wind, up to the sky, more or less. A letter you set on fire, for example, becomes ashes that "burn up." There are surviving roof rafters, burnt walls, scraps, and metal appliances remaining. These remains often collapse on themselves, so they "burn down."

5. “The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.”

Tense indeed! In English, verbs are divided into three main tenses which are related to time: past, present, and future. So, here very cleverly the tenses are personified and the word tense has been used as a noun instead of a form of a verb.

6. I’ll never date an apostrophe again. The last one was too possessive.

This one is interesting! We can see how the quality of possession of an apostrophe is used to make a pun.

7. When grammarians grill they say- “Well done, well-done or well, done?”

This is another intelligent take on the different uses of the phrase well done, hence the reference to a grammarian. "Well done" is an adverbial phrase that answers the question "How was it done?", while "well-done" is a compound adjective that describes a noun, such as a chicken, in terms of the completeness of its having been cooked.  And "well, done" is a response to a question such as "Did you get done with that chicken I asked you to cook? How is it?"

8. “Let’s eat Grandma! Or Let’s eat, Grandma!”- Punctuation saves lives.

The jocular line has been cited in many English books. “A comma makes all the difference in a sentence like this: ‘Let’s eat, grandma’

9. What do you call Santa's elves? – Subordinate clause.

In the telling of the story of Santa Claus, the people who help Santa make the toys are typically called elves (one elf, two elves). They are the helpers; they are not the main attraction. They are subordinate. The word subordinate means lower in rank or position, perhaps less important, like the elves when compared to Santa.

10. You had me at your proper use of “You’re”.

Here, "the proper use of you're" is a snarky reference that many people confuse the homonyms "you're" & "your" (i.e. use them improperly), so someone who used them correctly is a very special, endearing, enchanting person indeed (to people who care about the proper use of English).

And then, there are some idioms and sayings in English that are equally amusing:

The elephant in the room

This might be one of the weirdest English phrases in existence. If you say that something is the elephant in the room, you mean that thing is very obvious, but no one’s talking about it. Usually, “the elephant in the room” is something that makes people uncomfortable, which is why no one’s talking about it.

Keep your eyes peeled

Gross, right? Who would want to peel their own eyes, like they were fruits or vegetables? If your eyes are already peeled, how do you keep them that way?

Of course, you don’t have to use this phrase yourself if it feels too disgusting, but at some point, you’ll probably hear someone say it to mean “watch out [for something].”

Go down a rabbit hole

The idea of going down a rabbit hole (or going down the rabbit hole) comes from Lewis Carroll’s “Alice in Wonderland.”

In the book, a girl named Alice falls down a rabbit hole and finds herself in a strange, magical place called Wonderland.

Going down the rabbit hole can mean getting into a situation that’s overwhelming and unpredictable.

However, it’s also used these days to talk about becoming deeply interested in a particular topic. No matter which meaning is being used, going down a rabbit hole might take you to unexpected places.

Pardon my French

Why would someone excuse themselves for speaking French?

Well, as it turns out, this is something English speakers say to apologize for swearing or using “bad language.” It’s possible that this expression came from a time when English speakers really would excuse themselves for speaking French in front of someone who didn’t know the language.

Here are some everyday words and phrases that perfectly demonstrate some funny aspects of the English language.

The exact opposites:

• Americans park their cars on driveways and drive on parkways.
• Boxing rings are square.
• Hot dogs can be served cold.
• Noses run, but feet smell.
• People recite at a play and play at a recital.
• People who ride motorcycles are called bikers, yet people who ride bikes are called cyclists.
• Quicksand works slowly.
• Ships carry cargo, while shipments go by truck.
• The sun comes up and goes down, but prices go up and come down.
• Tomboys are girls.
• We cook bacon but bake cookies.
• When the stars are out they’re visible; when the lights are out they’re invisible.

The Misnomers:

• A guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
• English muffins weren’t invented in England, or French fries in France.
• There is neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
• There is no egg in eggplant (aubergine) or ham in hamburger.

Language is like the air we breathe. It's invisible, inescapable, indispensable, and we take it for granted. But, when we take the time to step back and listen to the sounds that escape from the holes in people's faces and explore the paradoxes and vagaries of English, we find that hot dogs can be cold, darkrooms can be lit, homework can be done in school, nightmares can take place in broad daylight while morning sickness and daydreaming can take place at night, tomboys are girls and midwives can be men, hours -- especially happy hours and rush hours -- often last longer than sixty minutes, quicksand works very slowly.

Let’s face it: English is a funny language!!

Keep wondering with the followings as well . . .

• What is the name of a bus you can never enter?
• What is a teacher’s favorite nation?
• The difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you're nuts.
• Practice safe text, use commas and never miss a period.
• Try forgetting comma when you write, "I'm sorry, I love you."